


When He Finds Me Gone

by Jenny151618



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1559327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenny151618/pseuds/Jenny151618
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A note of things I should've said/Lays beside his sleeping head/As I turn and make my way off in the night...And I don't know a right way I can do him wrong/So I don't want to be here in the morning/When he wakes up and finds me gone</p>
            </blockquote>





	When He Finds Me Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song When She Wakes Up and Finds Me Gone by Tim McGraw.

_With a trembling pen in hand I try the best I can_  
_To write all the reasons I can't stay_  
_And I hope she'll understand I can't leave her like a man_  
_'Cause a man would never leave her this way_

 _A note of things I should've said_  
_Lays beside her sleeping head_  
_As I turn and make my way off in the night_  
_By the time the morning's breaking_  
_My heart will still be aching_  
_Every time I think of what I've left behind_

 _'Cause I don't want to see me leaving in her eyes_  
_And I can't stand to watch her watch me make her cry_  
_And I don't know a right way I can do her wrong_  
_So I don't want to be here in the morning_  
_When she wakes up and finds me gone_

_It hurts to know how much she'll hurt_

_I've told myself things could be worse_  
_And I've convinced myself she's better off this way_  
_By the time she finds I'm gone_  
_I'll be a long, long way from home_  
_When she reads a note of things I couldn't say_

* * *

 

Antonio stared down at a blank of paper. He sighed, of sadness, and turned his gaze to his lover, Lovino. His eyes brimmed with tears but he knew he had to do this. He brought his trembling pen to the paper and wrote all the reasons he had to leave. He picked up the paper gently and laid it on the pillow, his pillow, beside Lovi. He bent down and kissed the other’s forehead.

‘I hope he’ll understand.’ Antonio thought as he made his way out the door. But first, he paused at the doorway and looked back. Lovino smiled in his sleep and moved closer to where Antonio should be. Antonio felt the tears fall down his cheeks and he quickly left. He knew he couldn’t stay, but leaving was breaking his heart.

He knew he should have told Lovino all the reasons he had written but he couldn’t stand to watch him cry. He couldn’t stand watching himself leave, watching Lovino’s heartbreak. It hurt him to know that he was going to hurt the other.

He tried to reason with himself that it was better for the other, that he could find someone that he could truly love. He really did love the other but the constant fighting was getting to him. He didn’t think he could take another fight.

He picked up his bag of clothes he had hidden and walked out of the house. The house they had shared. The house that held many memories. The house that most of the fights were in. He tried to push that into the back of his mind as he climbed into his truck and drove away.

‘Maybe we can try this again sometime…. If he doesn’t move on.’ Antonio thought as he drove and drove. He knew that no one would replace his Lovi but he didn’t know about the other. He wanted to believe that the other loved him and would wait but by their recent fights, he wasn’t so sure.

Finally, as the sun was coming up, he pulled over and let all of his held back tears out. He knew the other was about to find his letter and that just hurt him more. He wanted to turn around, he wanted to throw away the letter, to tell the other he was sorry, but he couldn’t. They both were to0 prone to jump to conclusion and get into a fight. He would come back and cheek on his love, err, Lovino and see where they stood but for now, he knew they both needed space.

He would always love Lovino and he was doing this for them, but he knew it could backfire. Lovino could move on, but it was worth the risk. Either way, Lovino would be happy. One way, he would move on and find someone that wasn’t always getting into fights, or the space would bring them closer together.

He dried his eyes and drove, with a heavy heart, to a friends house. He would stay there until it was time to go back.

By the time he was at his friend’s house, he knew Lovi had found the note and he forced back more tears. What was done is done and he would wait.

He just didn’t want to be there when Lovino wakes up and finds him gone.

* * *

Lovino woke to an empty bed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. This wasn’t right… Antonio always held him till he awoke or the other woke him up. He looked over to his boyfriend’s spot on the bed and spotted the letter. He tilted his head at it but picked it up nonetheless. He heart stopped when he read the first line.

_Dear Lovino,_

_I’m sorry but by the time you read this letter, I’ll be gone. I can’t stand all our fighting and think a break would do use some good. Please never forget that I love you but our fights are becoming more violent and angrier. We both need to cool off…. I understand if you move on but I will never love another. I’ll be back eventually but I understand if you love another, if you can’t wait._

Lovino’s hands trembled as he read the letter over and over again. How could the other say he loved him yet leave him? The Italian realized they were fighting more but was it really that bad? Was it really bad enough that they needed time apart? Couldn’t they have worked this out?

Lovino crumpled the letter in his hands then unrolled it. He numbly placed it on the desk and laid back down. Should he try to call the other? Should he move on? Hell, he wasn’t sure how he was feeling now. He knew he wanted to cry, he felt the tears build up but the overall feeling was numbness.

Finally, reality sat in and he let the tears flow. Why did he have to leave? Lovino sobbed as he thought back on their relationship. He remembered the good times, and he remembered the fights. He wondered if it would have been better never to have met Antonio, to have never felt his kisses, his touch. Lovino shook his head at that thought. No, he would have loved Antonio even if he knew this was coming. It made him what he is and he couldn’t see his life without the other.

Thinking that made up Lovi’s mind. He would wait on the other and learn to control his temper. He was going to be better at holding his tongue and learn to not jump to conclusions. He just wished that he realized this before the other left him.

He uncurled from his bed and decided that we would go on with life waiting on Tonio.

Because let’s face it, Lovino would always love the other and this was just a bump in the road.

‘I'll wait for him‘ The lonely Italian thought as he made breakfast for one instead of two; he couldn’t wait for the other to return.

* * *

 

 Three Months Later

 

Lovino stood in front of the fruit section in the grocery store. He had come here with his brother but the other Italian was nowhere to be seen at the moment. He had cried all those nights ago when Antonio left but he put his life back together because he knew the other would back. All he had to was wait. He hoped the other would  show up soon- these three months have killed him.

He sighed and picked up a bunch of bananas. He put them into his hand basket and turned to walk to the frozen section. He wanted ice cream.

“Ofhp!” Lovino made a sound and stumbled back. He had walked right into a person’s chest. The person quickly shot out a hand and righted him up. “Hey! Watch where you are going!” Lovino snapped and looked up. His breath caught in his throat when his eyes locked onto green ones.

The owner of the green eyes smiled and rubbed the other’s arm. “I think it’s you that needs to watch where you are going.”

“An-Antonio?” Lovino questioned. He really hoped he wasn’t seeing things. He really hoped that the other had finally come back to him. He hoped the other still wanted him.

“Sí, I came back Lovino,” Antonio whispered to his once lover. He gently ran his hand through Lovino’s hair. He still wanted his little Italian and hoped the other still wanted him. He watched as Lovino’s eyes widen and suddenly he was surrounded by the other’s arms.

“Bastard! Don’t ever leave again.” Lovino said and hugged the other tighter. His hand basket most likely dug into Antonio’s back but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hug and kiss his old lover.

Antonio felt the basket digging into his back but all he cared about was holding his Italian. After a few minutes, he pushed the other back and tilted his head up. The Spanish man then connected their lips in a sweet kiss. He felt his lover? kiss back and he felt the tiniest of smiles on his lips. They went on gently and lovingly kissing until a small ‘Ve~’ was heard near them. They broke apart and looked down the aisle; there stood Lovino’s brother.

“Ve~ Antonio~ you’re back! Fratello _(Brother)_ has been missing you!” Feliciano said and skipped over to the reunited couple. Antonio smiled at Lovino’s brother and Lovino blushed before scowling at the other. Antonio chuckled at his old love’s behavior and kissed the top of  his head.

“You two finish up you’re shopping and I’ll drop by ou-your house, Lovi?” He phrased it like a question and stepped back a little to give Lovi space.

Lovino immediately missed the Spanish man’s warm and wanted him back in his arms, but he realized they were in a store and people might stare. Not that he cared or anything…. Then he heard the other almost say their house and knew they had a few things to talk about before they moved anywhere with their relationship. “Yeah, six-ish?” It was only a little after 2 o'clock. That would give the both of them plenty of time to get ready.

“Sí.” The Spaniard said cheerily. He risked a small smile at Lovino and a peck on the lips before he went on his merry way, ruffling Feli’s hair as he passed.

“Are you going to make anything for the two of you? Ve~ can I help?” The younger Italian asked after Antonio was no longer in sight. He was glad the other had come back; he had seen how much Lovino missed him. He could see that Antonio had missed Lovi and he hoped the two worked out whatever was wrong. They both deserved to be happy and it seemed they made each other happy.

“Yeah… We should hurry.” Lovino said and seen the grin Feli threw at him. He rolled his eyes at his little brother’s cheerfulness and walked to what he needed. He only had a few more things he needed before he could go home and prepare for Antonio’s visit.

 ~~~~~

The two Italians made it to Lovino’s by 3:30 so they both got to work. Feliciano helped cook a tomato centered meal as Lovino went from cooking to cleaning. He didn’t clean much, just enough to make it look clean.

By 5:45 everything was ready and Lovino sent Feli on his way. Then he walked through the house just to double check everything.

The two of them had made the meal then Feliciano made Lovino clean better. After a few minutes of disagreeing Lovi gave in because he “needed to pass time.” He had pushed his dirty clothes into the bathroom and had cleaned some of the dishes before declaring he was finished.

“One more thing…” Lovino mumbled as he went into the bedroom. He walked to the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube out of the drawers. He wasn’t really expecting anything but just in case. He sat it on the table and made his way back to the living room to wait the rest of the time out.

At exactly 6:00 Lovino heard a knock at his door. He told Antonio to come in and a few seconds later the other strolled in. Lovino had to restrain from drooling because Antonio had went somewhere and changed. He was wearing tight black pants that showed off his legs and butt and his shirt was a dark green that highlighted his chest in all the right places.

“What smells so good?” Antonio asked before looking over Lovino. The Italian wore blue jeans and a red shirt. They weren’t tight but Antonio looked the way they looked on Lovi anyway.

“I made us something to eat. It’s in the kitchen.” Lovino said and stood up. He pulled the meal out of the oven that he was using to kept it warm and sat it on the table. He looked over to the other and he had pulled a chair out for him. Lovi fought a blush (and lost) and took that seat. Antonio smiled, kissed his pink cheek, then took his seat right beside him.

The two of them ate their tomato meal and made small talk about what Antonio had missed. What all their friends were doing now. How Lovino had been; what he had been doing. And what the Spanish man had been up to.

Antonio had been staying with an old friend that Lovino had only heard about, Francis. He had stayed on his couch while Francis and his boyfriend, Mathew, tried to cheer him up. He told the Italian that he worked at a local restaurant to pay Francis for letting him stay there. (“He wouldn’t take it so I hide it in his wine cabinet… He’ll find it soon if it’s there. That Frenchman loves his wine.”) He said that he had not dated anyone over the course of their time apart. Antonio added the last bit hoping Lovino hadn’t either.

Lovino told the other that he was living like he had when he was here. Only instead of doing things for two he did things for one. The Italian paused, drawing out the suspense, before telling the other that he wasn’t dating anyone either. Antonio smiled at this news and they pasted the rest of the dinner in comfortable silence.

After dinner, Lovino and Antonio stood up and took their plates to the kitchen. Then they both spoke at the same time, “I think we need to talk..” Lovino held in a giggle and Antonio chuckled.

“Let’s move to the living room?” The Spaniard asked and the Italian agreed. They both walked to the couch and sat on opposite sides. Antonio frowned at the space between them and hoped to repair it by the end of the night. “You go first.”

Lovino take a breath, “Are you staying this time?” He watched Antonio, holding his breath, praying for a yes. His prayers were answered.

“Yes.” The taller one answered and waited to see if the Italian had any more questions. When he didn’t speak for a few seconds, Tonio asked what he wanted to ask, “I was hoping.. I could.. Come back home?” Damn, he had never been this nervous in his life. Well except the time he asked Lovi out, and the time he asked him to move in the first time.

Lovino nodded, “As long as you don’t leave again… I’m working on my temper.” He said with a small blush. He watched as the taller scooted closer to him and pulled him against the other’s hip. The Spanish man leaned down so only a little space separated their lips.  

“I’m not leaving again,” Antonio promised and grinned when Lovino connected his lips. They stayed like this for a while, kissing. Their kisses ranged from sweet and gently to hungry and hard. Finally, Antonio couldn’t take that tongue just in his mouth, “Let’s move to the bedroom, sí?”

Lovino nodded and the Spanish man picked him up and carried him to their room. He kicked the door closed with his foot and laid the Italian on the bed. Lovino felt the other straddle him and he leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I love you,” Antonio whispered and flicked his tongue out to lick his bottom’s ear. He heard Lovino say it back and grinned.

Needless to say, their reunion night was spent in bed, just not sleeping.

 


End file.
